About Friendship...

Good social discernment sets very low standards for friends. It will be a friend to anybody. It loves and feels close to everyone with its heart. It loves everyone and feels like a friend to everyone it sees. Good social discernment sets very high standards for friends. It won't let anyone get near it unless they never do or say anything to hurt it. That's impossible. Practical social discernment believes everyone can be its friend unless they make a deliberate decision not to be, unless they enjoy making it feel bad about itself, unless they don't enjoy making it feel bad about itself, but do it anyway. It believes no one can be its friend unless they're supersensitive, superunderstanding, and super into the fact that that it's supersensitive and very withdrawn and doesn't say much.

Sometimes ignorance thinks he's being helpful. That good friends tell good friends everything that's wrong about them so they can change. When really he just tells good friends what he thinks is wrong about them. But why should anyone change to please other people? If that was okay we'd all be chameleons. Everybody wants something different of us. The innocent, unintentional, shut-in  brand of ignorance believes it's a good friend's duty to tell his good friend that she looks terrible. So he can heal her. He tries to help her. He thinks this is productive and good. And it would be dishonest of him to accept his friend the way she is because he does not like her the way she is. Is he an honest friend then? True friends like friends for who they really are. The honest mouth does not atone for the dishonest friendship. The honest mouth does not atone for the ignorant mind that would think a good friend is terrible in the first place. An honest friend would not wish his friend to change, so either way he's dishonest.

Elaine 07